I wanted to promote a website so thought I've give ReviewMe a little go. I signed up, set up a campaign with a request that my website get reviewed by in-context blogs. I couldn't find much in the way of a guide or Help on the site, but managed to navigate my way through. It was mostly just an experiment so I just created a budget for 2 reviews at $50 each.

A few minutes later, I received an email from the system to say my first review was complete. Someone was keen, I thought and made my way along to the blog to proudly see the review I had paid for. Unfortunately it was fairly rubbish. The blogger decided not to review the site at all, but did write a post on the general subject of the site and included a link. Ok, fair enough, but it's not what I requested.

As a newbie to the system, it seems to me there's a step missing in the process. I put the campaign up and some blogger of dubious quality can just roll up and do the review and get the money. I'd have thought it would be preferable if he had to somehow apply to do the review and upon checking his site, I could then approve him. If I had seen the guy's site beforehand, no way would I have let him go ahead with it.

The second review I received was much better. It was actually already indexed on Google before I got an email from the system telling me the review had been done. It's provided a reasonable amount of traffic and should hopefully prove useful from an SEO perspective.

So, 2 reviews done - 1 good, 1 poor. I don't think I'd bother using it again because, as I mentioned earlier, I think there's a quality control stage missing where the person who's getting his wallet out should final individual approval.

Although maybe that option is there - if it is let me know! - but I didn't see it.

Link Swap Anyone?

At the moment I'm looking for link swaps for a London travel guide site and a toy site from sites on related subjects, so feel free to contact me about either of those.

Labels: link building, review, reviewme

My enthusiasm for this series has waned towards the latter stages, but I guess I should finish up by including a post on the final episode of the series which was shown on Wednesday night.

The finalists - Simon and Kristina - were tasked with coming with a new concept to replace the IBM building on London's South Bank. They were joined by some of the fired ex contestants. Predictably, both teams up came up with two large, glass-fronted "monstrous carbuncles" that showed little or no sensitivity for the existing, predominately low rise, architecture of the surrounding areas.

We never really found out who was judged to have won the task itself, but the show ended with Sir Alan hiring internet entrepreneur Simon Ambrose as his next Apprentice. I thought Kristina was the more suitable candidate, but Sir Alan obviously sees something in Simon which is I guess why he kept him in, even after the TV selling debacle in which he pretty must ballsed up everything. In fact, if you ever watch that episode again, you'd be amazed that the person who was so awful would go on to win.

So that's that. I think the series has been a tad disappointing. Some of the tasks were uninspired and too similar to previous ones. Despite everything Sir Alan said to the contrary at the beginning, this is all about a TV show and the business side of it is just the backdrop to that rather than being the primary focus in my opinion. And with that in mind, I found it distasteful how they hung Katie out to dry, as she was one of the most compelling characters in their TV show, since that's what it is.

I was amused to hear what the job Sir Alan has for Simon is. If you think of Sir Alan, you tend to think of cheap consumer electronics. But the job on offer to the Apprentice is nothing to do with that. Sir Alan wants him to be involved with a new hotel and golf complex he is building. The emulation of Donald Trump is complete.

Next week sees a new show called Tycoon on ITV1. The trailer I saw recently was terribly corny but it should be interesting. I'll probably blog about it over on my TV blog, Did You See That.

Labels: apprentice, review, tv

I'm a few days late as I was out on Wednesday and have finally caught up with this episode.

Episode 11 saw the five remaining candidates go through the "inteview stage", where three of Sir Alan's henchmen give them a verbal battering and see who comes out on top. From the clips shown, the interviews all seem quite hostile and designed to trip up and embarrass the candidates.

They gave their findings to Sir Alan who had to whittle the five down to two ready for next weeks final task.

Sir Alan didn't waste much time in firing Lohit, or putting him out of his misery as SAS put it. He seemed to have decided that Lohit wouldn't fit into his organisation. Lohit acknowledged that he hadn't been able to communicate to Sir Alan the value he had added to the tasks and sadly, the journey was over for him. I think Lohit did great to get so far without getting involved in the bitching and back biting that was common amongst the others.

Next to face the boot was Tre. Despite being on the winning team more times than anyone else, he lacked commercial experience - having mostly worked for a family business - and he stood accused of being argumentative, aggressive and I think I heard Margaret call him a bullshitter.

Now the real drama really unfolded. Sir Alan offered Katie a place in the final but then picked up on the fact she didn't seem overjoyed. The stumbling block seemed to be the issue of relocating her family and she decided ultimately to stand down and let Simon and Kristina progress to the final. Some will question whether Katie was only ever in this for herself and never wanted the job that was on offer, but the series wouldn't have been half as good without her, so I don't think the producers can hold it against her if that was her motive.

So, Sir Alan is left with Kristina and Simon - two candidates who both seem to really want the job. My money would be on Kristina, but next week we'll know who has failed and who will be... The Apprentice.

Labels: apprentice, review, tv

The remaining candidates were given the task of selecting products and then selling them live on air, on the Ideal Home Shopping Channel.

Eclipse - Simon, Naomi and Tre - were led by Simon and picked a craft set (which I wont attempt to spell), a foldable wheelchair and a trampoline to sell.

Stealth - Kristina, Katie and Lohit - were led by Kristina and picked ladies' underwear, a chocolate fountain and some mop.

Lohit, Katie and Naomi came across as very competent performers onscreen. Katie, as usual, came up with the best lines as she identified the target consumer as someone called Mavis, who has a ery sad existence and needs the shopping channel for companionship.

Neither team excelled - they both lost thousands of pounds compared to usual earnings in the prime time slots they were given, but Stealth did have a clear edge over Eclipse and were sent off to a Turkish bath as a reward.

Simon made a balls up of everything. When he in the production chair, he was dumb struck and useless. When he was presenting, he was a gaffe-prone fool. Nick didn't mince his words, describing him as "selfish", guilty of "vanity", and accused him of thinking of himself and not the team.

The choice of a wheelchair by Simon raised eyebrows at the time with Tre and Naomi, and also with Sir Alan who we were shown watching and commenting on the shopping channel broadcast from his own office (though I wonder if he really gave real time opinions of if or if he had a recording and a script). He was distinctly unimpressed and threatened to have words with Simon over it. It was presented onscreen by Naomi and Tre, and they managed to sell two. When it got to the boardroom, Sir Alan - despite what he has earlier said about it - had decided it was a good product and gave credit for the sales to Simon for product selection and not Naomi for presenting it well. His conclusions seemed all over the place. The fact that no trampolines were sold meant, according to him. that it was a bad product and didn't suggest to Sir Alan that it was just a good product that Simon was unable to sell. He seemed to be arriving at conclusions that enabled him to allow Simon to stay.

Despite the clear evidence against Simon, Sir Alan obviously likes him and decided to fire Naomi instead, who in fairness should have gone much earlier anyway.

Labels: apprentice, review, tv

We got the customary shots of the candidates waking up. Presumably the camera crew actually go in first, wake them up and say "right, we're going to film you waking up". Simon rose from his slumber and said "morning" to Tre. Tre replied simply, "Wanker", like some kind of obscene alarm clock.

The candidates were ordered to meet Sir Alan in Greenwich to hear details of their next task. They stood in front of the Cutty Sark which was a nice reminder of how she looked before she was ravaged by fire. The Cutty Sark had been used to import tea, and Sir Alan explained this was task would be about about selling imported goods to the retail trade. Each team would listen to pitches from a trade rep from a variety of countries, and then select the one with most marketable products and then try to get orders.

Tre was put in charge of leading Eclipse (Lohit, Simon & Jadine), whilst Katie was appointed manager of Stealth (Kristina and Naomi).

Stealth chose to work with Canadian imports and Eclipse went with Sweden, which seemed like a sound choice when you consider the popularity of Swedish furniture. It was an eclectic range of products including a children's toy wheatie, dehumidifyer and a "rug in a box" which almost sounds like a reply to the song that Justin Timberlake performed on Saturday Night Live.

It seemed that what would be key to this task was arranging the face to face meeting with retail buyers, but the girls didn't arrange any appointments in advance and Eclipse only managed to get one, which seemed to be down to lack of manpower (with Jadine being too homesick to work) and a bad list of contacts culled from the net by Simon. With a lack of appointments arranged, the teams ended up turning up on doorsteps and cold calling disinterested staff with one person fuming at Naomi, "We dont have a manager or a buyer, get off my line you silly woman".

When the teams did manage to get face-time with the right people, they all seemed to sell well, but if there was a flaw in the task - probably for both - it was in getting into companies in the first place. At one point Simon and Tre were walking up and down Islington's Upper St trying to doorstep owners. I was hoping a satisfied customer from week one - also in Upper St - may approach them and ask for a coffee, which Jadine had memorably branded with the eclipse shape.

The single biggest sale probably went to Jadine and Lohit with when they sold 5 high end designer dehumidifiers but it wasn't enough to beat Stealth who trounced them.

Katie and the girls went off for a reward in Selfridges, whilst Tre kept Lohit and Jadine back in the boardroom to face the boss. Tre and Lohit fought their corners well and articulately, but Jadine seemed resigned to her fate, and she was sent packing in emotional scenes and the sadness seemed to be felt by all, as Jadine had said she had wanted to win to help get a better life for her daughter. Sir Alan simply concluded he was looking for a more finished product and she still needed to learn 0 which slightly misses the point that this is The Apprentice and not just The Employee.

Labels: apprentice, review, tv

Sir Alan told the teams that their task was to create a branding campaign for a pair of trainers. The clue in the brief was the instruction to come up with an advert that "sells kit, not wins the Montrose award for advertising tossers". Sir Alan likes rather straight forward advertising. They would have to come up with a 30 second TV ad and a bill board poster.

Sir Alan appointed Ghazal as team leader following her plea at the end of the last episode. Her team (Stealth) included Katie, Kristina and Naomi. Jadine was charged with leading Tre, Lohit and Simon as team Eclipse.

Eclipse decided on a brand called simply, "Street", with a campaign targetting street culture, and the "bump and grind" generation, as Tre put it. Margaret Mountford asked for clarification and Jadine amusingly told her that it was to do with dance "like the twist or the tango". Jadine seems to have quietened down and I was disappointed she didn't resume he Eclipse branding obsession from the early episodes and try to name the shoes after the team.

Stealth's brainstorming came up with the name "Jam", and the theme "image is everything". Katie wasn't impressed with that and pressured Ghazal into switching to "music is everything", which caused divisions in the team although not I'm not sure why as each idea seemed as vague and useless as the other.

Eclipse did a poor job of hiring performers for their campaign, with Jadine failing to specify that their talent needed to be able to dance too. Simon stepped up to his plate with his street dancing, and also did the vocals with some kind of awful, cringeworthy take on Gil Scott Heron's, The Revolution Will Not Be Televised with a rallying call to "Reclaim The street". Eugh. Tre was concerned at how the team's antics were harming his reputation, with a complaint to camera that "Its discrediting me now", as if his reputation had somehow remained unharmed during the past seven weeks. He also seemed slightly envious of Simon's starring role, with the cutting remark "there's a fine line between good fancers and totally shite bollocks dancers"

The teams had to present their ideas to he advertising agency, CHI. Katie's presentation was full of flannel about a boy called Jay, who typified their target market. Jadine's presentation seemed horrible, with an odd, stilted delivery in the poshest voice she could muster. I imagine she was reciting "the rain in spain falls mainly in the plain" during the journey to the agency.

The teams met in the boardroom to find out who had won. Sir Alan wasn't over impressed with either, but he blasted Stealth's effort, saying he didn't know what was being sold and asking where the branding was. Katie gave every impression of thinking Sir Alan was a bit of a simpleton, asking "didn't you see it in the final frame?... No?" It seemed more obvious than ever at that point that Katie thinks she's a little bit above the job that's on offer - and maybe she's right?

Katie is well known now for the stinging soundbite, usually wishing some cruel physical demise on her oppponents. This week she didn't disappoint, with her thoughts on Kristina, telling the camera she's like to see Kristina fired and "more physically that just in the boardroom scenario".

Ghazal kept Naomi and Katie in the boardroom with her, and put up a sprited performance, but her performance on the task itself was so transparently weak that Sir Alan had no choice but to tell her she was fired.

Labels: apprentice, review, tv

Sir Alan delivered a video message to the candidates telling them they would be taking the best of English produce to a market in France to sell to French "people". You could tell he wanted to say "nutters" - his hallmark phrase for the consumer - but stuck with "people" in the interests of entente cordiale. He appointed Lohit and Paul as team leaders, with Tre, Simon, Jadine and Naomi on Lohit's team, and Adam, Kristina, Katie and Ghazal on Paul's team.

Lohit's team - Eclipse - settled on an English Breakfast theme, buying up smoked salmon, English tea and jams. It seemed like Simon was a real asset to the team with a flair for the French language and some good input on product selection based on his knowledge of the French.

After picking up some sausages from a farm shop at a prison, Paul's team - Stealth - went down to Makro - popular cash and carry wholesalers - and stocked up on cheese. Kristina rightly picked up on it being slightly ludicrous to goto Charlton's finest cash and carry to bulk buy cheese to try and sell to a nation of cheese connosieurs. Paul's luck also failed him when he and Adam picked up their signage from an obviously displeased printer in Maidstone, who wanted a large lump of their budget for a glossy banner which transpired to be a poorly worded translation.

Eclipse did seem to manage a decent day of sales, successfully selling to shoppers and local businesses. Each week we are introduced to a new skill from Tre, and in this task he showed us he could "bullsh*t in any language". Apart from some squabbling between Jadine and Simon (which Tre put down to it being that "time of the month"), the team functioned well together.

Stealth's day was beset with problems, caused in large part by their inability to cook sausages and hand out samples. Paul had spurned proper cooking apparatus in favour of a makeshift cooker, created out of food tins and a candle. This 'Boy's Own' solution wasn't up to scratch and really dented their selling potential. When Kristina finally arranged the use of a local kitchen to cook some samples, they did manage to start selling sausages.

Paul decided to take matters into hand and wandered into a "Euro Kebab" to sell his pork sausages. Euro Kebab was a Muslim owned Kebab shop selling Hallal meat and this happened to be in the middle of Ramadam. If he had pulled it off, Sir Alan would have had to just quit and hand the whole business over to an obvious genius. Predictably, that's not what happened and Paul and Katie quickly made for the exit. All things considered, the shopkeepers reaction was remarkably restrained.

After a day's trading, the teams returned to the UK. They assembled in the board room to find out how they had did, although I'd have thought that as each team would most likely have an idea of how well they done, and presumably do talk to each other in the house in which they all stay, so the results can't be that much of a surprise to them? That aside, Lohit's team made a profit of over £400. Paul's team made a loss of over £100.

Paul took Adam and Kristina into the board. Adam, for his cock-up over the signage and Kristina for being a snake in the grass was Katie put it. This was only ever going to go one way, and after a bit of theatrics to suggest Adam was also in the firing line, Sir Alan rounded on Paul, called him a "shambles" and sent him packing.

(Lovers of continuity errors will have noted the brown/tan shoes Paul wore as he left the boardroom, and the black shoes as he got in the cab!)

I mentioned at the start of the series that I do happen to know Lohit and it was great to see him at last feature properly in an episode, and he did a great job of leading the team. He's starting to look like a proper contender to me. Simon has also done a great job, and I can them two along with Tre and Kristina making up the final four. That's my prediction anyway - what do you think?

Labels: apprentice, review, tv

I meant to blog about this sooner, but I had a busy busy week after I got collared to do some IT support work, which is a massive distraction from my normal activities. Should really learn to say no!

Anyway, the moment has kind of gone - who really wants to talk about the Apprentice anything other than the day after, right? - but for the sake of having an exhaustive episode guide, here's a quick synopsis.

Two teams had to select two photographer from those available and setup a room Hoxton, and get interest parties there for an evening of viewing and buying. The team that made the most money would win.

The teams were:

Kristina (PM) , Tre, Naomi, Paul, Jadine and Ghazal (Stealth)
Natalie (PM), Lohit, Adam, Simon and Katie (Eclipse)

Here's a quick run down of what happened:

• After being PM last week, Ghazal put her invisibility cloack on again
• Paul introduced us to a new phrase, "we've got warm fuzzies about you"
• Tre showed he can actually be quite intelligent and articulate
• Katie continued to be a backstabber and failed to sell anything after getting caught up in the arty side
• Stealth won by taking a harder selling approach than the other team
  
• Natalie took Adam and Lohit into the boardroom and they weren't the reason the team failed.
  
• Natalie got fired.

The winning team went to a health spa to be pampered. The quality of the rewards for the winners doesn't seem to be that amazing I have to say. I'm wondering what we can expect in future episodes: an all expenses paid trip to Bluewater shopping centre? A slap up meal at TGI Fridays?!

Labels: apprentice, review, tv

Sir Alan met the candidates in Hamleys to give them details of their next task, but not before rejigging the teams and appointing project managers himself.

Paul and Tre moved to Stealth, to be led by Ghazal. Nathalie and Sophie are moved to Eclipse, to be led by Adam.

Ghazal had up this point been quite anonymous and looked less than pleased to be made the project manager with a team including big characters like Tre and Jadine, although she unconvincingly said to camera that she wasn't intimidated by anything. Anything except a sales pitch to Pets@Home, is what she obviously meant.

The task was to design and make a confectionary product, and then sell it at London Zoo. In Eclipse, Adam immediately laid down the law by telling them they were going with an animal theme because it was obvious. There were a few raised eyebrows from Katie - a serial underminer - but honestly, it seemed like a logical theme.

Eclipse's production seemed to go well with over 500 lollies made - some chocolate, some orange flavoured. Things were more problematic for Stealth where they struggled to get a production line going, wasted time in making their chocolate and forgot to get sticks which meant sending Tre and Kristina on a hunt to find them. Tre's negotiating tactic of suggesting that the wholesaler sell the sticks on a "less VAT basis" didn't get very far, unsuprisingly. Stealth finished production with 100 bags of fudge and 110 lollies - less than the 300 they had planned for.

Eclipse got to the Zoo to find out a bouncy castle was going up in their planned selling lcoation. Adam picked a new location that was remarkable out of the way and said it was "a covenient place not in the walkway". It may have been convenient if you wanted to sleep for the day but if you're intention was to sell stuff, a location closer to a walkway may have been better still. A fact that was not lost on Simon, who pushed for a relocation.

Some market research from the Zoo reported back To Eclipse that a natural or organic sweet would be popular, but this was ruled out for cost reasons, but that didn't stop Natalie overruling the project manager and labelling their orange lolly as "Natural Orange" rather than "Tiger Orange" as he had ordered. A blunder which meant that every one of them had to have the word "natural" crossed out. Lohit tried selling one with the catchy pitch "it's not a natural product", which horrified one mother. Lohit came back strong from that blip though to be a model salesman and was probably the star of the show. His technique was held up as an example to the others by Adam.

Adam's a salesman by trade, but instead of selling, he stayed in a lion suit for hours that scared children and also allowed him to "observe" the team.

Stealth sold out of their products in the afternoon, whilst Eclipse engaged in frantic afternoon price cuts followed eventually by giving them away. They later met up in the boardroom to hear the results. Eclipse made £983.80 and Stealth made £994, meaning Ghazal's team had won by about £10. I was especially impressed with Ghazal's team because we were told they made 100 bags of fudge - selling at £3 each - and 110 lollies - selling at £2.50. They sold out so you might imagine they made a total £575 but actually they raised £994. For her next trick, Ghazal will be walking across water and feeding the five thousand.

Sir Alan was less than impressed with the "not natural" Orange lolly, calling it "child vomit in araldite" and "sick on a stick". Adam kept Sophie backin the the boardroom with him, and also Natalie who seemingly tried to lie her way out of the labelling farce much to Sir Alan's displeasure. Sir Alan was also not pleased with Adam for not selling enough and spending too long in a lion suit, and was taken aback when Sophie revealed a morale stance about selling over priced lollies to harrassed mums.

Sir Alan carried on his teasing tactics from last week. Previously, the words "for that reason.." were a sure sign that someone was about to get fired. This year it's "for that reason.... you've got a lot to learn" before moving on to someone else. He decided that Sophie's morals were too naive and she should stick to science, so it was the quantum physicist that got the cab ride home.

Labels: apprentice, review, tv

Episode 3 started with a pointless recap of episodes 1 AND 2! I hate recaps at the best of times but to recap both previous episodes is mad. At this rate, by the end of the series the whole hour will be taken up with recaps and they'll just have to cut straight to the boardroom for the firing.

With the recaps out of the way, we joined the candidates in the house as they relaxed on a night off. Most of them were in pretty funky summer-wear and I wasn't sure for a moment if I was watching Shipwrecked or The Apprentice.

Their evening was interrupted when Sir Alan came knocking. He told the teams he was going to give them £200 for them to do pretty much what they wanted with. Their task was to come up with a one day service business and see who could get the biggest return.

Tre was elected as project manager for the remaining boys in Eclipse, now joined by Katie.
Naomi was chosen, reluctantly, as project manager for Stealth, which Jadine rejoined.

Both teams were to operate their businesses in Richmond - one of the most affluent parts of the UK. Stealth decided to setup a face painting business for kids, despite it being a weekday during term time. They initially got a trickle of kids but then struggled to find any more punters. Gerri was tasked with "location", but it seemed like a hard challenge because where is the right location for a face painting business when all the kids are at school?

They attempted to position themselves near a school as the kids left but were too late to get any business. But even if they had got their earlier, I'd have thought most mums on the school run would just want to get home and not hang around for face painting.

Eclipse decided to run a gardening business, with half the team (Lohit, Paul and Katie) asked to go door to door and find the jobs, and then send the crack team of gardeners over to get the job done. They initially struggled to find the jobs in a well-to-do residential area where the gardens were well kept, but then did eventually get some work for the boys, although seemingly underquoted on price considering the labour required.

Nick Hewer stood watching the guys gardening like a senior probation officer overseeing a group of young offenders. He looked rightly concerned when Simon hovered underneath Tre who was up a ladder, trimming a hedge with a chain saw. When the World's Angriest Man has a chain saw in his hands, you really don't want to be standing under him. Though it has to be said he was calm at this point, and seemed quite effective. It was later in the day the more familiar, foul mouthed Tre returned when Paul and Katie decided to spend their time trying to line up DJing jobs at Richmond pubs, despite his instructions not to.

As night fell, both teams were allowed to change business activity. The boys decided to do singograms - although Tre's promised beat-boxing never materialised or was never shown - and the girls decided to do Kissograms. The kissograms idea seemed to be pushed by Kristina Grimes - a name that sounds like it came from the pen of Roald Dahl - and team leader Naomi bowed to it despite earlier likening it to prostitution. Their actions were pretty grisly as a motley crue of men were kissed, squeezed and hugged in exchange for a few quid.

The teams met in the boardroom to discover that the girls had made £65 profit during the day and the boys had made £189 - almost doubling the seed money, as Tre quickly pointed out.

Team leader Naomi kept Gerri back to face Sir Alan - citing location as being one reason for failure - and also Jadine for her apparent disruptiveness.

Sir Alan went through them listing their faults as he saw them, and it's obvious he has really mastered the art of the tease.

"And Jadine...."

OMG - He's gonna fire Jadine!!

"For that reason, Naomi...."

Naomi's gonna get fired - yay!!

And then he goes and spoils it all by saying Gerri, you're fired. He decided she had failed one too many times on location (remembering episode one) and she didn't seem to fight for her position. It seemed to me that the business itself (face painting) was flawed, and finding a location was nigh on impossible. So Naomi deserved to be sacked for that alone, and I was amazed he didn't make more of the kissogram farce.

Sir Alan - this week you got it wrong. Tre's stock went up, and Naomi's went down.

Labels: apprentice, review, tv

Right, before I start this review of the second episode of the Apprentice, I think it's quite important that I take off my jacket.

That's better.

The teams met Sir Alan at the London Eye to be told details of their second task: to come up with a doggy product that "nutters" would buy. I quickly imagined Sir Alan walking into his R&D department and ordering them to come up with a hybrid phone/email/spectrum emulator that some nutters would buy. Back at the Eye, teams were told they would have to pitch their idea to three retailers - Pets@Home, Harrods and some small boutique - and whatever team could generate the most money in orders would win.

Team Stealth - having chosen Katie as their PM - started their "ideation" (yuk!!) session with ideas such as a dog operated fan and a nappy for dogs.

Eclipse - led by Rory - were first sat down and told that the team leader goes "f*cking crazy" for discipline, and then proceeded to tell them he wouldn't tolerate swearing. Rory was already sounding pretty ridiculous by this point, but then insisted that the team remove their jackets before doing any brainstorming. Maybe when there's a film crew there you suddenly lose sense of how ludicrous you sound?

Eclipse seemed to struggle to come up with any ideas too. It seemed to me that both teams were starting their brainstorming from a blank page. My own observation was that it might be better to look at existing products already being sold and try to enhance one of them with a new twist or innovation rather than trying to come up with brand new ideas out of thin air. But hey, I'm not one of top 16 business prospects in the UK, so they must know what they're doing, right?

Stealth were going with the idea of rucksacks for dogs and then from under the radar switched to some kind of dog wardrobe, that the guy from Harrods pointed out looked like a cheap kitchen cabinet.

Rory wasn't happy with any of the ideas his team had come up with, so unleashed his own vision: a dog walker's utility strap that would have various pockets for doggie accessories. This got Jadine's branding juices flowing. Last week she wanted to put Eclipse shapes on the coffee and this week she wanted to put "clips" on the "eclipse belt" - get it?

Some of the other team wanted to go with a dog blanket, but Rory went against them. It was edited to suggest he made the wrong choice, with the help of a focus group who turned their nose up at a utility belt but loved the idea of a blanket. It seemed to me they were just comfortable with what seemed more familiar. You could have said, "how about a piece of white, rigid calcium covered in fleshy meat and we'll call it a 'meat bone' for dogs and they'd have gone f*cking crazy for it. But the task was to come up a with a new product and I think Rory was right to say - as he did later in the boardroom - that Sir Alan might have "eaten him alive" if all they came up with was a dog blanket.

We saw very brief snippets of the pitches. Lohit and Adam seemed to be doing a good job for Eclipse, and then we witnessed an awful car crash moment as Ghazal choked during her pitch to Pets@Home, before handing over to someone else. One of those moments where you have to cover your face and watch between the gaps in your fingers.

The teams met in the board room where Nick and Margaret delivered the results. Eclipse gained orders from Harrods and the boutique in Greenwich, but got none from the large chain, Pets@Home. Stealth only got orders from Pets@Home - despite Ghazal's very abridged pitch - but the size of the order was such that they easily won.

In the boardroom Ifti - who only revealed after the task that he had a degree in product design - said he has been unable to perform on this task because he was missing his family. Sir Alan appreciated his honest, and then fired him. And in a shock twist, he announced he was still going to fire someone else. It was between a tongue tied Rory and a fired up Tre. Sir Alan decided Rory was a complete disaster and had to go.

Throughout the task, Tre was his usual charming himself (ie not very charming at all), with his constant back chat and complete lack of respect for the team leader, telling him "you're nothing to me". Even after Rory was fired, Tre didn't acknowledge him and made no attempt to shake hands. He seems to have a very short termist approach - only concerned with getting through the task and not too bothered that ultimately he comes across as rude and obnoxious and not someone you'd want to have work for you or even do business with.

By the end of episode 2, it seems clear that the programme makers are enjoying the friction that a character like Tre brings and focussing heavily on him whilst the contribution of other candidates isn't getting a look in, which is a shame but maybe that's how you make a hit TV show?

Labels: apprentice, review, tv

Two deals were done in the Den this week.

Chris Haines had come up with an invention that seemed pretty clever to me. A nightlight called Safe-T-Light that plugs into a wall socket and comes on when the lights fail, and the light is detachable so it acts a torch. Keeping a conventional torch for when the lights fail is a problem because you need to find the torch and hope its batteries have power. The Dragon's were split - Pete Jones thought it was pointless, Richard Farleigh thought Chris's plans to sell overseas before achieving success here was flawed and Duncan just wasn't interested. But Deborah was interested in it and the prospect of more safety products to come, and Theo was also keen, pointing out powercuts were more common in Europe, and they both decided to invest, getting 30% of equity between them for £95,000.

David Pybus - described as the Indiana Jones of Perfumery - wanted to take a range of historically accurate fragrances to market and carve out a niche in a hurge market. He was offering 20% of his business, Scents of Time, for £80,000. His product range included fragrances from the Titanic and from Pompeii - So if you want to smell like a ship that sunk or a city that was destroyed,you could well be in luck. He didn't say whether he will be expanding his product range to include more recent tragedies - but I suppose "Tsnumai for Men" and the scent of Chernobyl are two ideas that shouldn't be sniffed at. I can't imagine these selling particularly well on the beauty counters of the nation's dept stores, but maybe in the back of Sunday supplements or on the shopping channels? As he pointed out, it's a huge market and getting a tiny fraction would still do incredibly well.

Both deals this week were split between more than one investor, despite not being for large sums of money. I think I remarked on it before, but it seems increasingly common for the Dragons not to do deals alone in the Den. I can only imagine what it's like when they goto the canteen at lunch: "'Theo, I'm prepared to pay half the money for 50% of this cod and chips. What do you think?"

I can't do a Dragons' Den post and not remark on the success achieved by Levi Roots from episode one of this series who has just done a deal which will see his Reggae Reggae Sauce in 600 Sainsburys stores. Product review coming soon!

Labels: dragons' den, review, tv

Christian Lane was an amazing young guy from Surrey who come into the den with his carrying case idea for graphic designers which lets them carry large paper sizes in a folded case without creasing the paper. It was called Foldio and looked like a reasonable idea, and the Dragons were obviously impressed with it, but more so with him for having achieved quite a lot by the age of 19 - he raised the money to get the project to its current state through dabbling in import/export from China. He asked for £80,000 for a 15% stake in his business, but quickly upped his offer to 35% under very little pressure from Theo. He explained later that he was very keen to work with Theo, who runs the stationary shops Rymans and Partners. Peter Jones looked a bit gutted not to have managed to get in on the deal that was eventually done between Christian and Theo, as he was clearly keen to work with him. The website for the product is www.foldio.co.uk and it's apparently coming soon.

Anna Dickson brought her Mummymits into the Den - a pair of gloves that attached to a pram and allowed for the person pushing the pram to quickly get their hands in and out of a pair of gloves to tend to their child. The concensus of the Dragons seemed to be that it was a nice idea and could be a good lifestyle business for Anna, but she lacked the business acumen to really push it forward. I had an idea what they mean when they say "lifestyle business" but it was useful to see this quote from Peter Jones on the BBC site: "I defined her business as a ‘lifestyle business’ which means she was not planning to channel profits back into her company to expand it but was using it to fund herself"

The only other successful entrepreneur was KC Jones whose company, Innovations4u, had an exclusive distribution deal for a box, a bit smaller than a microwave, that could sterilise anything using silver-nano technology. KC was a bit of a character, but just the right side of eccentric to still be investible. Richard Farleigh and Deborah Meaden took a punt and invested £100,000 between them, for which they negotiated an equity share of 50%. Personally I think if an entrepreneur comes into the den, by all means negotiate on the equity share but to force him to a stage where he only retains 50% of the shares of his company seems a bit greedy.

Labels: dragons' den, review, tv

First up in the Dragons' Den was Ling Valentine with her contract hire website and an eye-catching poster showing her URL printed onto be nuclear missile. Her website has a crazy design that is on first glance a complete mess but the more I looked at it, decided it actually seems to work. I read through her site and was especially amused by her advice page on building a good website which had this nugget of information:

Use program like Macromedia Dreamweaver and sit with clever druggy student who show you some basic skill.

Duncan and Richard were interested enough to make an offer that the equity stake they demanded was too big and Ling abruptly refused it, telling them ' Chinese eat dragons for breakfast'. Her advert on a missile was a good publicity stunt, and you couldn't help but think her appearance on Dragons' Den was just another one, but good on her for that.

More popular with all the dragons was the husband and wife team who wanted to sell a kiss moulding kit called Send a Kiss by Benje. The idea had come about when the guy had a heart attack and thought of something he would wanted to leave behind to his wife. All of the dragons loved the idea but also agreed this was a' lifestyle business' that could make a great living in a couple but that probably wouldn't make a big return investors. Peter Jones said he found the back story to the business ' heart rendering' when he surely meant heart rending which was quite a funny Jade Goody moment for someone who had just been blasting another pair of entrepreneurs as ' idiots'. The couple didn't receive any funding although Peter did buy one of the kits from them for £50 which was like some kind of patronising act of charity since they already said the RRP was £14 99. Theo said he may be able to put them in touch with someone who could help them and maybe he was true to his word because the Send a Kiss website has a non-affiliate link to Theo's underwear store, La Senza which implies some kind of relationship was born.

Finally in the den was in Imram Hakim who had iTeddy - a teddy bear with a media player embedded in its stomach and day content subscription service on the associated website. It seems like a pretty reasonable idea and surprisingly affordable considering it was apparently a video player as well and Imran had a very polished product to show considering he had only come up with the idea five months earlier. Most agreed it was a good idea if he was able to get the patents, and Theo and Peter ended up investing in the business. I don't mean to fisk Peter Jones's every contribution but he made a point of saying in his negotiations that Imran could ' have the money today'. Followers of Dragons' Den know that despite the impression of cash being handed over, these deals are long drawnout affairs are often never take place one due dilligence has been carried out. The deal was dependent on a patent being granted, which Richard thought was unlikely, and he may have been right because I can see no mention of iTeddy in the patent office database.

Labels: dragons' den, entrepreneurs, review, tv

Dragon's Den made its return to our screens tonight on BBC2 - perhaps a little sooner than one might have expected since I was remember reviewing the last series back in September. For those unaware of the show, this is where budding entrepreneurs can pitch their ideas to a panel of "Dragons" who are looking to invest their own money in viable businesses. I like to think I have a modicum of entrepreneurial spirit, which is why I enjoy this programme and I think probably many online entrepreneurs in the UK watch it, and likewise for the versions shown in other countries.

Possibly the show has lost credibility though because I think it's become quite a lot about the personalities and egos of the Dragons and there's been too many reports of the deals shown simply not happening, but its still entertaining viewing.

First up in the Den tonight was a guy looking to take his contemporary puppet business into schools, community groups and young offenders institutions. Certainly the idea of tackling juvenile delinquency through the art of puppetry wasn't something that had occurred to me, but the panel liked the idea. Their main concern though was the business he wanted investment for was a side venture to his established activities and actually had nothing to it yet: it hadn't started doing anything so there was nothing to invest in other than an idea. He didn't get the investment.

Next up we had two entrepreneurs wanted £160,000 to invest in their "thermo-logistic" business. Unsuprisingly for refrigeration experts, they stayed cool under pressure and managed to negotiate a deal where they took the money in exchange for a 22.5% equity share. Seemed like a solid enough business, but the subject matter was hard to get too enthusiastic about, although the panel were certainly excited because at one point they had offers on the table from all five Dragons.

Dr Gili Kucci from Kucci Kukui wanted money to help expand her City-based relaxation treatment business. The Dragons' had difficulty believing the figures they were being given and she didn't get the investment, although Duncan Bannantyne rode to her rescue and tried to interpret her answers into something more coherent.

Levi Roots was a charismatic entrant into the Dragons' Den, beguiling the Dragons with a catchy ditty about his Reggae Reggae Sauce - "so good I named it twice". Despite making a huge error in his understanding of an apparent order (mistaking 2500 litres for 2,500,000 litres), he managed to score an investment of £50,000 from Peter Jones and Richard Farleigh. I think they clearly took a shine to him and that got him the deal, because I can imagine many other people making that kind of mistake would have had some harsh words coming their way. There was nothing on the Reggae Reggae Sauce to indicate any breakthroughs in the sauce's fortune, and I've not seen it in Sainsburys, so I'd love to know if this deal actually happened.

Labels: dragons' den, review, tv

I mentioned a few days ago that I wanted to revisit some of my older websites and improve Adsense performance rather than just see the headline figure for all the sites and be satisfied with that and not delve too deeply in. Of course I've always checked how Adsense Channels were performing but as long as the total was OK, I was generally happy.

But to help with my new approach, I have been making a habit of printing out a "Custom Report" from Adsense advance reporting that shows me Yesterday's Adsense status for all channels, grouped by Channel. I'm someone that reads stats best from a printed page, so I save the report as a CSV and print it out. So far so good, and then I noticed that using the Report Manager, you can have the custom report emailed to you on a daily basis. This couldn't get any better I thought, so I set it up and received my first email report today from Google.

I was happy with that except for one thing - they sent the report as a .zip file. This means that to access the info how I like it, I need to save the attachment, open the Zip file, file the CSV file within, and then print it. It's OK, but it's click intensive. There must be a better way, I thought...

Step forward EZDetach...

I googled around and found EZDetach from a company called TechHit. This dreamy little add in for Microsoft Outlook automatically detaches attachments from email messages. It works as a toolbar button, or more importantly, as a custom action, meaning you can set it up to work as a rule applied to incoming messages. But it doesn't stop there - after it detaches the file, it gives you the option to unzip the file and then another option to execute a script of your own - from where you can then print the file automatically too.

The end result is that I receive the email from Google, the attachment is automatically saved, unzipped and printed. The report comes shooting out of my printer with no interaction or work from me at all. I just pick it up and start analysing.

This solution is so sweet, I thought others might be interested, so here's exactly how I've set it up:

1) Install EZDetach (http://www.techhit.com/ezdetach/) - Free trial is available, and the actual price is only $29.97

2) Open Outlook - I'm using Outlook 2003

3) Find an existing Adsense Report received, and right click on it, then select "Create Rule"

4) Select "Subject Contains - Adsense Report Request..."

5) Click Advanced Options, and then click Next to proceed to the "What do you want to do with the message?" screen. Scroll down and tick "perform a custom action"

6) Click the underlined words "a custom action" to choose the action, and then select EZDetach in the drop down list. Click Change to configure it...

7) Set an Output path, tick Execute and enter "c:\printfile.vbs" and also click Unzip File. So you have told it where to save the file, that it needs unzip to the file and that it needs to run a script called printfile.vbs which is on the c:\ - now we need to make that script! Just click Ok, and Finish first.



8) Open Notepad.exe and enter this text, than click File->Save as-> enter "c:\printfile.vbs" for the file name and be sure to select "All Files" for Save as Type.

Option Explicit
Dim objShellApp
Dim strFilename
strFilename = "c:\my documents\mailattachments\Adsense-Report.csv"
Set objShellApp = WScript.CreateObject("Shell.Application")
objShellApp.ShellExecute strFilename, "", "", "print", 0
Wscript.Sleep(5000)
Set objShellApp = Nothing

I should add - the company behind EZDetach is so cool that they made a print file script available on their website which I hacked about to make this. this script relies on there being the same output path as I had, but you can easily change accordingly.

9. That's it! Next time you get a report from Adsense, it will just print straight out ready to be collected from the paper tray.

Of course, not everyone will want to receive and consume their stats like this, but for the way I like to do it, this method works so well.

Labels: adsense, affiliate tools, review