Right, before I start this review of the second episode of the Apprentice, I think it's quite important that I take off my jacket.

That's better.

The teams met Sir Alan at the London Eye to be told details of their second task: to come up with a doggy product that "nutters" would buy. I quickly imagined Sir Alan walking into his R&D department and ordering them to come up with a hybrid phone/email/spectrum emulator that some nutters would buy. Back at the Eye, teams were told they would have to pitch their idea to three retailers - Pets@Home, Harrods and some small boutique - and whatever team could generate the most money in orders would win.

Team Stealth - having chosen Katie as their PM - started their "ideation" (yuk!!) session with ideas such as a dog operated fan and a nappy for dogs.

Eclipse - led by Rory - were first sat down and told that the team leader goes "f*cking crazy" for discipline, and then proceeded to tell them he wouldn't tolerate swearing. Rory was already sounding pretty ridiculous by this point, but then insisted that the team remove their jackets before doing any brainstorming. Maybe when there's a film crew there you suddenly lose sense of how ludicrous you sound?

Eclipse seemed to struggle to come up with any ideas too. It seemed to me that both teams were starting their brainstorming from a blank page. My own observation was that it might be better to look at existing products already being sold and try to enhance one of them with a new twist or innovation rather than trying to come up with brand new ideas out of thin air. But hey, I'm not one of top 16 business prospects in the UK, so they must know what they're doing, right?

Stealth were going with the idea of rucksacks for dogs and then from under the radar switched to some kind of dog wardrobe, that the guy from Harrods pointed out looked like a cheap kitchen cabinet.

Rory wasn't happy with any of the ideas his team had come up with, so unleashed his own vision: a dog walker's utility strap that would have various pockets for doggie accessories. This got Jadine's branding juices flowing. Last week she wanted to put Eclipse shapes on the coffee and this week she wanted to put "clips" on the "eclipse belt" - get it?

Some of the other team wanted to go with a dog blanket, but Rory went against them. It was edited to suggest he made the wrong choice, with the help of a focus group who turned their nose up at a utility belt but loved the idea of a blanket. It seemed to me they were just comfortable with what seemed more familiar. You could have said, "how about a piece of white, rigid calcium covered in fleshy meat and we'll call it a 'meat bone' for dogs and they'd have gone f*cking crazy for it. But the task was to come up a with a new product and I think Rory was right to say - as he did later in the boardroom - that Sir Alan might have "eaten him alive" if all they came up with was a dog blanket.

We saw very brief snippets of the pitches. Lohit and Adam seemed to be doing a good job for Eclipse, and then we witnessed an awful car crash moment as Ghazal choked during her pitch to Pets@Home, before handing over to someone else. One of those moments where you have to cover your face and watch between the gaps in your fingers.

The teams met in the board room where Nick and Margaret delivered the results. Eclipse gained orders from Harrods and the boutique in Greenwich, but got none from the large chain, Pets@Home. Stealth only got orders from Pets@Home - despite Ghazal's very abridged pitch - but the size of the order was such that they easily won.

In the boardroom Ifti - who only revealed after the task that he had a degree in product design - said he has been unable to perform on this task because he was missing his family. Sir Alan appreciated his honest, and then fired him. And in a shock twist, he announced he was still going to fire someone else. It was between a tongue tied Rory and a fired up Tre. Sir Alan decided Rory was a complete disaster and had to go.

Throughout the task, Tre was his usual charming himself (ie not very charming at all), with his constant back chat and complete lack of respect for the team leader, telling him "you're nothing to me". Even after Rory was fired, Tre didn't acknowledge him and made no attempt to shake hands. He seems to have a very short termist approach - only concerned with getting through the task and not too bothered that ultimately he comes across as rude and obnoxious and not someone you'd want to have work for you or even do business with.

By the end of episode 2, it seems clear that the programme makers are enjoying the friction that a character like Tre brings and focussing heavily on him whilst the contribution of other candidates isn't getting a look in, which is a shame but maybe that's how you make a hit TV show?

Labels: apprentice, review, tv